Miriam now writes about her progress in healing. She has been reading and it was written that one should nurture oneself so that they can heal. And to free write as a baseline to compare later. This post was originally on my blog miriamsart.com. Unfortunately I have lost my wordpress.com community and in posting here hope to get in touch with them again. Please forgive me is you read this post twice. I know there are many out there dealing with anxiety and I am trying to help them as I help myself.
Nurture means to care for or encourage the growth or development of someone. How do I nurture myself. I made a list and came up with about ten things. One was have a cup of tea, another have some ice cream, another exercise and another write it down. All of these things are healing for me.
Another idea was to free write. Free writing means that for an allotted time you write whatever you are feeling without being worried about grammar and without crossing out or editing. You just write FREE what comes to your mind at the moment. The book recommended twenty minutes. It sort of book marks where you are now in the process of healing. I wrote for about a minute. Realized that I should meditate. Meditated for five minutes. Then wrote down what I was thinking and stopped. Period. Blocks went up. I could see the metal door swing shut! I have to free write more often. And longer each time. Next time I will strive for ten minutes of writing non stop. So I should meditate before.
A memory from my bad experience in my childhood came back to me. A small memory. So I have taken a small baby step forward. And the metal door swung shut with a CLANG! Well it didn’t make any noise but it did shut. Now I am blocking again. Demons from my past haunted me but helped me think of one thing that probably happened. I don’t remember anything because it happened in my sleep. So now this memory will work in my subconscious and bring up other memories. No wonder I am so anxious. I can’t bear to think of these things. It’s like there is a thick wall between the memories and me and I can’t even look at it let alone open a door. I don’t even want to think of opening that door. But I must. Courage oh grasshopper courage!
In the meantime I have to start nurturing myself. I have let myself go. Personal hygiene was an issue. I didn’t wash as often as I should. Now I am better and washing regularly. I have to remember to pamper myself. So one way is a facial scrub with oatmeal. This is pampering, and nurturing. A bowl of ice cream helps to heal and soothe a tattered spirit. So I’ll make myself a cup of tea now. Black current tea with milk in my special tea pot that I reserve for after reading this book. Hopefully it will help me to calm down. It will. Now I know that nurturing is important. I had let myself go and instinctively have been nurturing myself already. Now I have to make a point of doing it.
Hopefully this blog has helped you. Please comment below. Please like, share or comment on social media. I write to release the demons but also to help others. Remember to nurture yourself so that you can heal. Remember to free write. Then look back and read it after a month to see how far you have progressed.