Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Kitten pastel painting. It was painted at a time of extreme anxiety. Slowly I heal.
The white reflection in the kitten’s black eyes immediately draws the viewers attention. The bright white, beige and yellow fur draw the eye in further. The cute pink button nose also attracts the eye. The silhouetted computer screen and kitten’s body are in the background.
I speak of love today. The love of God and a good dominant lover. They both protect me from evil. The Evil One is dead and in hell but still attacks people in my mind. It is my belief in God and in the good that keeps me stable and decreases my fear.
I spoke to my daughter and my last post upset her. She fears that my delusions are taking over my life again. The fantasies calmed down after I had talked to her. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said to wait until I talk to my psychologist. I have a meeting tomorrow. The problem is that I am maxed out on my medication and I’d have to completely change my medication to increase my dose, which might make things worse. My psychiatrist said if things got really bad to come in immediately. But my fantasies have calmed down and are not as in control of my life. Miriam is in control.
I started reading The Red Book by C. G. Jung. It talked of his fantasies and how he spoke to his fantasies. My psychologist recommended it to me. Jung spoke to his fantasies throughout his career and that is how he developed modern day thought on dream archetypes. He is a great psychologist and had fantasies just like me. So I am not strange or that ill. It has happened to other people. I am still reading the book and trying to communicate with my subconscious.
My psychiatrist said that stress may be affecting my paranoia. My daughter is moving out, my roof needs to be fixed and we had a death in the family. However, I am also trying to connect with my subconscious. She is calm I think but my fantasies are under a lot of stress. I’m not sure what is causing the stress. I will keep you posted. Slowly I heal.
This painting was a challenge. It is the first time that I paint the shadow of something on black paper. The shadow of the computer and the kitten’s body came out quite well. I painted it, rendered it and then erased to leave a smudge of pastel. It worked out quite well I think.
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Stonehenge pastel painting. It was inspired by the summer solstice. I am battling inner voices. Slowly I heal.
The shooting star attracts the attention of the viewer. And immediately the eye is drawn to the stonehenge. It is a majestic grey and black structure that symbolizes witchery around the world. It contrasts beautifully with the blue night sky filled with stars. The green grass in the foreground contrasts well with the stonehenge as well.
I am battling inner voices. It is my subconscious upset at me. It is too much. I can make it but I need help from God and the good. One lover is still bad but trying to be good. So bad he is attacking children. God I need your help! Another lover is strong and helping. It is war to protect children. It’s a battle that I hope will see a happy ending. Slowly I heal.
This painting was done at a time of extreme anxiety. Painting it helped my tattered soul. Slowly I heal. I weep for the children for some are mine. Slowly I heal.
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Yellow Rose watercolour painting. It was painted at a time of joy and reflection. Slowly I heal.
The white of the edges of the yellow rose petals immediately attracts the viewer’s eye. Then the yellow petals move the gaze down to the darker orange petals. This gives the rose depth. A beautiful yellow-orange rose.
This painting was done at a time of joy. My inner fantasies have children in them, many of them mine. Children are a source of joy and a wonderful part of life. They are also a great responsibility. It tires me sometimes to worry for so many. My own children are travelling today. Safe travels my loved ones! Slowly I heal.
This is my second recent attempt at a rose. The petals are difficult but the more I do the better I get at it. This is a half decent attempt. I will do a poppy soon. I have decided that watercolour is the best for a flower with a crisp thin edged petal. But I’ll still try it with pastels and see how it works!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to show her Lady and Blossoms watercolour painting. It was done on a busy day. Enjoy!
The intense blue of the eye of the lady draws the attention immediately. Then the ruby lips bring the eye down to the chin. The pale pink blossoms bring the eye to the brown and black hair. The hair draws the view back up to more pale pink blossoms and the eye.
It was a busy day. The subconscious is tired and fears. I have to meditate and relax. Slowly I heal.
This painting was done with Prismacolor watercolour pencils and Strathmore 140 lb Watercolour paper. It is my first serious attempt with these pencils. Any criticisms would be greatly appreciated.
I am reposting my Leopard in Shade pastel painting. This one I took without direct sunlight. The image is much better. The one below is washed out by the afternoon sun. Enjoy!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Leopard in Shade pastel painting. It was done at a time of extreme anxiety. My inner demons are at war. Slowly I heal.
The golden eyes of the leopard draw the viewers look. The black spots of the leopard then draw the eye to the grey and blue bark in the foreground. The intricacy of the bark with spots of beige light is interesting. The shadows and light on the back of the leopard are also interesting.
I have learned that I speak to my conscious mind. It is not my subconscious as I had thought. The subconscious communicates in images, not words. My conscious delusions then are at war. One dominant good lover is now evil and raping me. I stopped yesterday and drew a painting hoping that it was my subconscious communicating with me. Yes, I was raped. My subconscious is desperately trying to tell me this. I have to help my subconscious to heal. It communicates with images and dreams. How will I help my subconscious to rest? Music, art and mindfulness I think. And writing out my story. I have written a rough first draft of a book of my life with my delusions. Now I have to decide whether to rewrite it or edit it. The painting once again soothed my tattered soul. My spirit is awake and surviving as well. Slowly I heal.
I tried a new painting technique this time. I painted a dark image on white paper hoping that the colours would be clearer. Unfortunately, I had to shade with black to darken in the shadows of the image. The white of the background showed through the pastel chalk. So painting a dark image on white is not a good idea. However, the colours of the bark in the foreground were clearer than they would have been on grey paper.
My internet is down so I can’t post this right away. I will save it for later. Please forgive me for the technical problems. Such is life!
This painting is for sale if you are interested. Please contact me at email@example.com. Enjoy!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Yellow Flower pastel painting. It was done at a time of extreme anxiety. Slowly I heal.
The yellow flower immediately draws the viewers eye. The brown shading is attractive. The three green leaves provide a good contrast to the flower. As does the purple background.
I am at stress because my subconscious is fighting to control me. I resist with respect and try to help it to rest and to heal. It seems that it always wants me to fear. But I am safe. My abuser isn’t even in the same city. It’s been over fifty years. I tell my subconscious to rest and that I am safe. Slowly it heals. Thank God for the support of my family and psychologist. Slowly I heal.
I tried a rendering technique to provide depth to the flower and leaves. It worked well. I also tried a new spot technique with the purple background. It worked well but I should have done more of it.
This is for my personal gallery. Not for sale for the time being.
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Hawk pastel painting. It was painted at a time of extreme anxiety. It soothed my soul. Slowly I heal. Enjoy!
The brown, grey and white feathers on the back of the hawk immediately attract the eye of the viewer. Then the gaze is drawn to the eye of the bird and the yellow beak. Finally, the soft down of the chest captures the eye. The hawk is painted against a blue and grey sky. It is perched on a brown and black tree.
My subconscious is at war. Evil lurks and the good protect me. It is all in my mind and slowly I heal. I cannot repress my subconscious. It is time that I allow it to express itself and in communicating with it, slowly it heals and as it heals, I heal. But it is scary and there is extreme anxiety. However, I have good days especially when I babysit my grandson. He is a strong motivation for me to heal and be better. Thank you to my family. They always love and support me.
I tried a new technique with this hawk. I painted the colours first, tentatively at first. Feeling out where the colours should go. Then I put in the white. At the very end, I added the black that outlines separate feathers. Interesting, time consuming and finally, I loved the product. The tree was also a challenge. Slowly I get better at painting trees.
This is my best hawk that I have done. I am quite pleased with the result. Enjoy!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Hummingbird in Flight pastel painting. It was done at a time of extreme stress. Painting helped. Slowly I heal.
The glistening beak and blue and green glistening feathers catch the viewers eye. This hummingbird is purple, green and blue. It is suspended in flight.
My subconscious wars within me. Fearing that I will speak of being abused. Fearing that my abuser will find me. Slowly I talk to it and ask it to be calm. My abuser is not interested in me. It has been over 50 years since it took place. He isn’t interested! Slowly I heal.
Painting soothed my tattered spirit and soul. It gave me release and healed me. Enjoy!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Bird in Sky pastel painting. It was painted at a time of some stress. Slowly I heal. Enjoy!
The black of the silhouetted bird contrasts well with the white light of the sun behind it. The different shades of blue in the sky give the painting depth and contrast well with the few white clouds. The pink and blue in the wings of the bird add reflected light.
I am calm. My subconscious is at war. It battles with the good and evil that is me. I have feared so greatly that my subconscious sometimes gives images of evil things to me. But it is a plea for help. I am calm and am trying to help my subconscious to be calm. I still have great anxiety about being raped. So does my subconscious. Slowly I heal.
I am slowly developing my technique with clouds. I used white, blue and two shades of grey to paint these clouds. Slowly I am getting better.
This is an approximately 12 x 18″ pastel painting. It is available for sale at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Swan and Young pastel painting. Slowly I heal. Enjoy!
The eye of the swan catches the viewers attention. Then the orange of the beak catches your attention. And finally, the young swan can be seen beside the mother. The bluish hues of the swan’s wings are distracting. The shadows of the beige reeds on the wings make an interesting pattern. The white swan is multicoloured in shadow.
This painting was done at a time of great stress. I am trying to help my subconscious. But at the same time am trying not to speak to it too much. It causes anxiety and stress. I have come to terms with the fact that I can’t repress my subconscious. But I am careful about talking to it.
Slowly I heal.