Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Kitten pastel painting. It was painted at a time of extreme anxiety. Slowly I heal.
The white reflection in the kitten’s black eyes immediately draws the viewers attention. The bright white, beige and yellow fur draw the eye in further. The cute pink button nose also attracts the eye. The silhouetted computer screen and kitten’s body are in the background.
I speak of love today. The love of God and a good dominant lover. They both protect me from evil. The Evil One is dead and in hell but still attacks people in my mind. It is my belief in God and in the good that keeps me stable and decreases my fear.
I spoke to my daughter and my last post upset her. She fears that my delusions are taking over my life again. The fantasies calmed down after I had talked to her. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said to wait until I talk to my psychologist. I have a meeting tomorrow. The problem is that I am maxed out on my medication and I’d have to completely change my medication to increase my dose, which might make things worse. My psychiatrist said if things got really bad to come in immediately. But my fantasies have calmed down and are not as in control of my life. Miriam is in control.
I started reading The Red Book by C. G. Jung. It talked of his fantasies and how he spoke to his fantasies. My psychologist recommended it to me. Jung spoke to his fantasies throughout his career and that is how he developed modern day thought on dream archetypes. He is a great psychologist and had fantasies just like me. So I am not strange or that ill. It has happened to other people. I am still reading the book and trying to communicate with my subconscious.
My psychiatrist said that stress may be affecting my paranoia. My daughter is moving out, my roof needs to be fixed and we had a death in the family. However, I am also trying to connect with my subconscious. She is calm I think but my fantasies are under a lot of stress. I’m not sure what is causing the stress. I will keep you posted. Slowly I heal.
This painting was a challenge. It is the first time that I paint the shadow of something on black paper. The shadow of the computer and the kitten’s body came out quite well. I painted it, rendered it and then erased to leave a smudge of pastel. It worked out quite well I think.
Slowly I heal. My mind is in a turmoil. I struggle to figure out why. Slowly I heal.
My mother asked me a good question yesterday. Why am I mentally ill and will knowing why help me to heal? This is a very good question. Recently I have been trying to communicate with my subconscious but my inner fantasies have been a lot worse. Why is this? There is a new group of men who are my lovers and dominate me. But there is one lover who is almost evil now. We are all struggling to save him. There is another very bad man after me. All this because I am a Diva of love. My subconscious was at peace the other day although I was struggling. Today I don’t know. So my subconscious is being helped by a dominant lover. She knows this now. Yet my inner fantasies are at war and in a turmoil. Strange that my subconscious is at peace.
My subconscious is content that I now know that I have been raped. My inner fantasies, however, are in an uproar. Why is this? One of the lovers desperately wants to have children. I think that he is fearing death and wants to ensure that his genetic line survives. So the Evil One is calm yet there is turmoil. The one causing all of this turmoil is the lover that we are trying to save. He fears death. And attacks even his best friends and children. Evil is in his mind and controls him. How do I help him? I trust in the good and God to help him. But he isn’t getting better. Something needs to be said. God, please help! Now I pray. Slowly I heal.
photo credit: Alexandre Goudreau on Unsplash.
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Stonehenge pastel painting. It was inspired by the summer solstice. I am battling inner voices. Slowly I heal.
The shooting star attracts the attention of the viewer. And immediately the eye is drawn to the stonehenge. It is a majestic grey and black structure that symbolizes witchery around the world. It contrasts beautifully with the blue night sky filled with stars. The green grass in the foreground contrasts well with the stonehenge as well.
I am battling inner voices. It is my subconscious upset at me. It is too much. I can make it but I need help from God and the good. One lover is still bad but trying to be good. So bad he is attacking children. God I need your help! Another lover is strong and helping. It is war to protect children. It’s a battle that I hope will see a happy ending. Slowly I heal.
This painting was done at a time of extreme anxiety. Painting it helped my tattered soul. Slowly I heal. I weep for the children for some are mine. Slowly I heal.
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Yellow Rose watercolour painting. It was painted at a time of joy and reflection. Slowly I heal.
The white of the edges of the yellow rose petals immediately attracts the viewer’s eye. Then the yellow petals move the gaze down to the darker orange petals. This gives the rose depth. A beautiful yellow-orange rose.
This painting was done at a time of joy. My inner fantasies have children in them, many of them mine. Children are a source of joy and a wonderful part of life. They are also a great responsibility. It tires me sometimes to worry for so many. My own children are travelling today. Safe travels my loved ones! Slowly I heal.
This is my second recent attempt at a rose. The petals are difficult but the more I do the better I get at it. This is a half decent attempt. I will do a poppy soon. I have decided that watercolour is the best for a flower with a crisp thin edged petal. But I’ll still try it with pastels and see how it works!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to exhibit some of her penmanship. I was just fooling around today playing with my calligraphy pen and watercolours. This is the result. Enjoy!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to show her Lady and Blossoms watercolour painting. It was done on a busy day. Enjoy!
The intense blue of the eye of the lady draws the attention immediately. Then the ruby lips bring the eye down to the chin. The pale pink blossoms bring the eye to the brown and black hair. The hair draws the view back up to more pale pink blossoms and the eye.
It was a busy day. The subconscious is tired and fears. I have to meditate and relax. Slowly I heal.
This painting was done with Prismacolor watercolour pencils and Strathmore 140 lb Watercolour paper. It is my first serious attempt with these pencils. Any criticisms would be greatly appreciated.
Miriam’s Art shows her Raven pastel painting. It was done on a day of stress. Enjoy!
The glint in the raven’s brown eye captures the viewer’s attention immediately. The detail of the brown and grey feathers is interesting. The different shades of grey of the beak are impressive.
Today is a day of calm. I am honoured by people in my fantasies. People of old. It is my collective subconscious talking to me.
Painting the raven on black paper was interesting. The grey background contrasts well with the black of the bird.
Miriam’s Art is comparing her two Raven paintings. The first one is pastel and the second is watercolour. Which do you like best? Enjoy!
I have decided to start a new series: Ravens. This blackbird has always interested me. It is so majestic and if it had had colour would have been more revered by ornithologists. But alas, it is simply black in colour. It is in Indian tales and often associated with bad. But none the less, a beautiful bird.
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there. I wish you a calm lake on your morning fishing trips. And if you don’t fish…have a happy day. You are cherished. Enjoy!
Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Crouching Panther pastel painting. It was painted at a time of extreme anxiety. Slowly I heal.
The yellow stare of the panther captures the eye immediately. The powerful muscles ripple in the black torso. The three paws in the painting also show the ripple of muscles.
I painted this at a time of some anxiety. I finished it on a day of relative calm after a day of extreme anxiety. It seems that my subconscious needs me to be challenged by my fear of evil and what it can do to people. But slowly my conscious mind is healing too. The evil part of my conscious mind is getting better as it rests. Courage is what I need. Today is a day of calm and joy. Challenges are easily faced with the help of a loved one. God is helping too. Slowly I heal.
I painted this panther on white paper to see what the black would look like. Rendering once and then again after the second application made it a beautiful black. So black can be done on white. But I used charcoal instead of pastel. Pastel would have let the white show through. I’ve noticed that white charcoal is better and brighter than white pastel.