Not much has happened. I’m recovering from the stress of having visitors. And the stress of my daughter moving. But all in all I am doing well.
I just thought that I’d give you all an update. I have been walking again. It’s such a joy to be out in the fresh air. The snow has virtually all melted though. I tried to take a picture this morning and it didn’t work. I’m not very techno savvy! It’s unusually mild out. Which makes it beautiful to walk. However I am anxious about ice patches. I did some shopping today. Then I decided to walk. I am recuperating from the anxiety I felt when we had visitors from overseas. I just blocked out the anxiety and survived, doing what I had to do. But the fact that I am still tired shows me that I was anxious.
On top of that, one of my daughters is moving out. She is a free spirit and my home always has a revolving door so I’m not angry at her but I am a bit worried. She’ll be staying with a friend though. I pray that goes well.
I’ve met a family from Finland who is staying in Canada. They are my cousin’s friends. Now I am a bit anxious about going out for coffee or inviting them to my home. There’s a lot of anxiety involved in just going out into public places. And even anxiety about inviting them here. I don’t know what I’ll do. We’ll see.
I was stressed yesterday. Someone wanted a book review of my first book. It’s not even published yet and I thought that it would be a spoiler alert if I wrote a book review. My one daughter said just to write a summary. So I did. I was all out of whack yesterday because of it. But it helped to talk to my daughter about it. Voice your anxiety. Sometimes just talking about it can help.
I was also anxious about my art. Yesterday was an anxious day. So I talked to my other daughter about my art. I could change my focus from animals which I love doing to waves for example. Waves would sell much better than animals. But then am I selling my soul to make sales? Also I am tempted to paint babies now that I have a grandchild. So I was anxious about my dilemma of which painting to do next and if I should change my style. So I asked my daughter which painting I should do next. A jaguar, a baby or waves. She said why don’t you do all three! What a wonderful reply! The sky’s the limit. Of course I can do all three. I didn’t even think of that! What a joy it is to have someone to talk to!
I am relatively calm. I have to buy all season tires for my car in the spring. So I have to budget. That’s making me anxious. I have to look a couple of things up that I have been putting off. But I finally wrote them down. I am also applying for contests with my art and writing. So all of this adds to my anxiety but it’s a welcome relief to be worried about everyday things instead of fearing something. My fears have subsided quite a bit. I am much more calm. However there are still triggers to my initial fears. I deal with them on a daily basis. But I am much calmer now. So slowly I am healing.
I have signed up for group therapy. I plan to go to the drop-in center tomorrow if the snow storm isn’t too bad. I missed it the last two weeks because we had visitors from Finland. I was told that I can’t miss the group therapy though. So I’ll have to remember that.
My daughter has asked me to babysit my grandson next week. I hope that I don’t get too tired. We’ll see. It is such a joy to be with him. Although driving has made me anxious. If there’s a snowstorm then I hope my daughter will bring him here. However it would be a lot easier to take care of him at his place. All his toys are there. I’m not really set up for a baby. I should buy a playpen. I might do that in the future.
So I’m making plans for the future. Entering contests. I don’t know if I have a chance to win. A lady might be writing a magazine article about me! Wow! Things are looking up.
Never stop fighting…and remember talk about your anxiety with friends or loved ones. You don’t have to say it’s your anxiety. Just talk generally about what is worrying you. You never know, they might have an idea that can help you! 🙂