Miriam’s Art is pleased to release her Kitten pastel painting. It was painted at a time of extreme anxiety. Slowly I heal.
The white reflection in the kitten’s black eyes immediately draws the viewers attention. The bright white, beige and yellow fur draw the eye in further. The cute pink button nose also attracts the eye. The silhouetted computer screen and kitten’s body are in the background.
I speak of love today. The love of God and a good dominant lover. They both protect me from evil. The Evil One is dead and in hell but still attacks people in my mind. It is my belief in God and in the good that keeps me stable and decreases my fear.
I spoke to my daughter and my last post upset her. She fears that my delusions are taking over my life again. The fantasies calmed down after I had talked to her. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said to wait until I talk to my psychologist. I have a meeting tomorrow. The problem is that I am maxed out on my medication and I’d have to completely change my medication to increase my dose, which might make things worse. My psychiatrist said if things got really bad to come in immediately. But my fantasies have calmed down and are not as in control of my life. Miriam is in control.
I started reading The Red Book by C. G. Jung. It talked of his fantasies and how he spoke to his fantasies. My psychologist recommended it to me. Jung spoke to his fantasies throughout his career and that is how he developed modern day thought on dream archetypes. He is a great psychologist and had fantasies just like me. So I am not strange or that ill. It has happened to other people. I am still reading the book and trying to communicate with my subconscious.
My psychiatrist said that stress may be affecting my paranoia. My daughter is moving out, my roof needs to be fixed and we had a death in the family. However, I am also trying to connect with my subconscious. She is calm I think but my fantasies are under a lot of stress. I’m not sure what is causing the stress. I will keep you posted. Slowly I heal.
This painting was a challenge. It is the first time that I paint the shadow of something on black paper. The shadow of the computer and the kitten’s body came out quite well. I painted it, rendered it and then erased to leave a smudge of pastel. It worked out quite well I think.